Love is…

 

Love is not about falling.

It is about rising to the vibration of the heart, where the mind cannot enter, and we recognize each other as we were on the Other Side. Devoid of mind, ego, expectation and judgement, love flourishes and we progress on our soul purpose.

Love in its ecstatic form cannot tarnish.

We mix up practicalities of life with the purpose of love. Love is our core frequency, it is not what we receive from another, we already are that, love serves its purpose when it helps us to remember our true nature as light beings.

As soon as we see the love reflected in another as something they give us, and begin to expect (ego and mind engage) we lose that spark of connection that jolted us awake when we first met our mirror.

Exercise for love partners: Sit comfortably facing each other and gaze into each others eyes, sinking deep. Stay until what you know of them dissolves and you see only their beauty, their soul, the whole universe. Allow room for tears and feelings of expanding into the cosmos. Re-connect. Namaste.

Find me here…https://www.facebook.com/MonikaCarlessAuthor/

Three Things to Know Before Seeking Polyamorous Love.

*Polyamory: The philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time.

Polyamory isn’t a fringe topic anymore.

And for the record, it’s not polygamy. But every conversation I’ve had recently about polyamory has had some mention of polygamy, even if it was just a passing joke to make the distinction.

The most frequent comment I hear from readers is that they never thought they would be “one of those people.”

Sally, an executive with a reputation to protect, confessed that she has never felt such freedom in her heart, since she has become romantically involved with two other people.

“You know, everyone assumes it’s about the sex, and of course we’re having it (in spades), but it’s really about finding expression as a human being. I mean, if I fall in love with two people, or three, why am I labeled a freak?”

Because, Sally, we have been programmed to believe that it’s impossible and wrong to intimately love more than one person. The reasons we believe this are complex and connected to the survival of the ego.

Three things to know about poly love:

1.~Poly love must be entered into with the same commitment to honesty, respect, and transparency as any other relationship.

Every relationship is subject to these cornerstones, and just because we swing from the chandelier with more than one lover, doesn’t mean that we can skip honoring our love in this way.

When it comes to dishonesty, don’t accept anything in poly love that you wouldn’t accept in another relationship.

Poly doesn’t mean “no rules” unless you’ve all agreed to it. Even with no rules, we have to observe the other people’s boundaries about having no rules.

If you’re entering into a new poly love and feel that all partners aren’t on the same page about certain requirements, have a discussion about it. If things don’t feel right, don’t do it. Make sure that you state your needs clearly. Often we don’t get what we want from a partner because we have simply failed to ask. If they’re angry because of your honesty, then this is a clue about the longevity of the relationship.

More here my loves, Three Things to Know before Seeking Polyamorous Love. | elephant journal

Love Happens in the In-between Moments.

“You were an unexpected surprise, the defining moment. The collision of stars that slammed into me hard and sent my neat little world plummeting into the ocean. I never expected it to be you, you know? But it is you. It’s all you. And now there’s no looking back.” ~ Beau Taplin

Love grows between the kisses, the hugs, the moments gilded in golden memories, between raindrops, between snowflakes. Love is the essence between each breath.

Love grows silently in those times when we are least aware of what the heart is doing. While we focus outward on our lover, the inward work of the heart is done.

Love grows quietly after we’ve made love, after soft touches, and fervent embraces.

Love grows after arguments when we are suddenly aware of the fragility of true connection.

Love grows like an out of hand fire in-between the moments of meals shared, hands held, tears shed.

Love grows while we’re sleeping, tucked in against each other, skin on skin, breasts to chest.

While we’re paying attention to the mundane things in life, love softly speaks to our soul, reminding us of this touch or that, this spoken tenderness or that heated kiss, and expands into every nook and cranny of our being.

The Rest Here….https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/03/love-happens-in-the-in-between-moments/

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This Valentine’s Day, Remember This.

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“Everything you do right now ripples outward and affects everyone. Your posture can shine your heart or transmit anxiety. Your breath can radiate love or muddy the room in depression. Your glance can awaken joy. Your words can inspire freedom. Your every act can open hearts and minds.”  ~ David Deida

 My partner and I celebrate an anniversary on Valentine’s Day.

It is the day he first told me he loved me.

Most years, he forgets when it is. But when he does remember that Valentine’s Day is coming, he buys me roses even though I keep telling him that carnations are my preference.

We have a great laugh about it and cuddle up to my favorite movie, A Walk on the Moon—which, by the way, is about a woman who has an affair. But who can blame her—it’s with Viggo Mortensen!

I tried to count the other day how many times he has told me he loves me in the last 23 years, and we said conservatively 17,000 times—but I think it’s more likely double or triple that.

We have a truly amazing love, and we are conscious of what a gift it is. It’s not a perfect love (what’s that, anyway?) and yet it is a love worth keeping for at least another 23 years—unless Viggo shows up, then I’m outta here.

So many times, he and I have talked about the urgency that is forced upon us by society to feel and demonstrate love on this one particular day; even thought by all rights we can still choose for ourselves what we feel.

Valentine’s Day exposes our desire for love, for companionship, for validation. I used to be against the whole thing until I realized that it serves a good purpose. Valentine’s Day allows us to explore our relationship with love and with ourselves. It is a faithful servant, returning each year to check in on our progress.

To be fair, I love romance. I kinda have to since I write erotic romance novels. I have been in love with love forever and a day, and romantic gestures stir my heart as much as the next girl’s.

I think it is lovely that once a year, en masse, we move a mountain of love. Imagine, practically a whole planet is focused on one emotion. Sure, it may be just fabricated juju as far as the whole commercialism aspect is concerned, but aside from that, lovers everywhere are concentrating on the one person they call their own, thinking of ways to express their connection.

It’s not wrong to love Valentine’s Day, and not wrong to not love it, either. It is a day for us to be introspective about why love or why the lack of it creates such a powerful reaction.

In the end, it is a portal through which we can explore our love relationship with ourselves.

What is love anyway—is it an emotion, or is it our inherent nature?

I believe that we think it is an emotion, often demonstrated through actions, but really, love is an impulse that governs the whole universe. As an impulse, love is who we are so much more than what we feel. Feelings can go away, but our inherent nature is indestructible.

We are addicted to love because we are love. When we receive love, or an expression of love, it is a reflection of our own being. And that reflection looks and feels like home.

So often we hear that we must love ourselves first, that we must fill up on our own love instead of seeking it from another. That may be true, but we are all on a journey toward ourselves, reaching our center in our own good time.

But in the meantime, while we journey toward self-love and self-fulfillment, we can indulge in the love that emanates from another and the shenanigans of Valentine’s Day in whichever fashion we choose.

Don’t compare your day to anyone else’s. Don’t worry if he or she forgot the flowers. Leave your expectations at the door and open up to what is happening in your heart.

Maybe there isn’t any money for a date, or maybe you have to work, or maybe you are alone this year. But not really alone, you see, because you are love, and that is the best gift of all—the sweetest treat you could be given.

I hope this Valentine’s Day is one you will remember. One where the love that runs this whole damn world is at center stage. I hope you feel it.

In the years when I was alone for Valentine’s Day, I would find someone to tell I love you to. One year it was my cat. In giving love, I felt the enormity of its presence.

I love you—three words that carry so much energy. I hope you can feel it. Love is magic. It grows stronger the more we share it. Happy Valentine’s Day.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/02/remember-this-on-valentines-day-no-matter-what/

 

In All Things Love, Remember this…

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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” ~ Sharon Salzberg

We can go round and round with love in a never-ending dance of questions.

I think that for the most part, we are not yet jaded on love—although some of us are, and many of us seek to understand the mystery of it all.

We shouldn’t suffer in love, although that’s a “romantic” notion that’s been propagated since time immemorial.

When love is new, we may forget to eat and sleep, living on the fumes of every moment our new lover affords us, but that is where the suffering should stop.

In fact, it can be quite pleasant to be lost to love in this way—when emotions are heightened, and we are truly alive with passion. I’m all for that heady kind of business. In fact, we need more of it in the later stages of love, don’t we?

We need to be truly alive more of the time…love is wonderful kindling for a life of fire.

A new love helps us to remember how we look to someone who values us, because we see our reflection in their eyes. We feel appreciated. We feel empowered. We are lifted up, and that can be addictive.

And so begins the longing for that sacred reminder of our worth.

Validation through love is a gift—but an even greater gift we can give ourselves is to value ourselves before love, during love and post love.

Self-worth and self-love can solve nearly every romantic woe there is. We are not taught about this enough. We are taught too often to wait for that person who will “complete us,” and who will make us feel that we are vitally important in this world.

Self-worth (or more accurately, lack of it) is where love breaks down.

“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” ~ Michel de Montaigne

Waiting for that mirror of self-worth are the fairy-tales we’re raised on. The savior, the prince and the rescuer are the archetypes of love based on dismal footing.

Let’s go back a step. Although we know intellectually that self-worth is vital in love, we are all struggling, to one degree or another, to value ourselves enough to accept nothing less than what we deserve.

Ah, but that may be the rub. We may not believe that we deserve it. We may also think that not everyone can have that kind of empowering love. But why not? We can, if we ask for it and wait.

Wait? What do you mean wait? Who has time to wait…clocks are ticking, and we crave a partner to share our life with.

There’s nothing wrong with that. And learning how to value ourselves is a life-long journey. We grow as we experience, and hopefully choose a better love the next time.

The little girl who is broken inside of us, the teenager who has been abused, the young mother who has been left to manage things on her own—any one of us—has to summon the courage to say no to a relationship that is not truly love, but rather a dependence on external validation.

More here…http://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/01/in-all-things-love-remember-this/